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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24921934">To Be Afraid</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/caffeinated_cold_hands/pseuds/caffeinated_cold_hands'>caffeinated_cold_hands</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Multi, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Polyamory</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:14:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,233</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24921934</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/caffeinated_cold_hands/pseuds/caffeinated_cold_hands</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of oneshots for criminal minds about Morgan, Garcia, and Reid being in a polyamorous relationship. Where applicable, tws will be at the beginning of each oneshot.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia/Derek Morgan, Penelope Garcia/Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia/Spencer Reid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>95</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Lives We Make</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>tws:<br/>-mentions of nightmares<br/>-panic attack</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The blue lights of the clock danced across the wall in front of Reid. </p>
<p>It was 1:37 am, and the fourth night in a row he had woken up sobbing from a nightmare. This one had been particularly troubling, as he couldn’t stop seeing the fear in the eyes of the little girl who had been murdered a few months prior. She and the other children from that case had been haunting him, taunting him in his dreams for weeks now. Some nights just turned out worse than others. </p>
<p>Spencer tried to shake the thought of the girl from his head, but all the victims were swarming around him, and encapsulating his every thought. The voices of the children began screaming out, begging for him to bring them justice; justice he did not know how to deliver. </p>
<p>With every shaky breath the young man took, the voices grew louder in his head. The louder they got, the harder he shook. He tried to control the shaking as to not wake his boyfriend, Derek, or his girlfriend, Penelope. </p>
<p>The voices were nearly unbearable now, with more and more victims joining the pained cries that plagued Spencer’s thoughts until he couldn’t take it anymore. He wailed in agony, succumbing to the voices as his entire body shook violently. Morgan was up in an instant, rubbing his back and trying to soothe him while Garcia held his hand and tried to help ground him. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry for waking you two,” Reid squeaked out. “I’m fine, I promise. I just had a bad dream, it’s no big deal. Go back to sleep. I can handle it.”</p>
<p>“Like hell you are, pretty boy. You’re shaking harder than a leaf in a tornado. Please, just tell us what’s wrong so we can help you.”</p>
<p>“It’s nothing, really Derek. Just a bad dream. I’ll be fine, there’s no need to worry. Please, go back to sleep.”</p>
<p>“If that’s really the case, then this is the fourth ‘bad dream’ you’ve had in a row, babycakes,” Garcia chimed in. “You see some gruesome shit almost every day, I don’t need to be a profiler to understand how much that can fuck a person up, hon. Let us help, we want you to feel okay.”</p>
<p>“It’s just the children from our case. I can’t get their voices or faces out of my head. Really, it’s no big deal, just your run of the mill nightmare. Too much crime investigation without any sort of mental break. Let’s all just go back to sleep, okay?”</p>
<p>“You’re still crying, we’re not done here yet.”</p>
<p>Derek nodded at Penelope, who blearily stumbled off to the bathroom to grab a small basket from under the sink. Derek scooped up Spencer in his arms, drawing him as close as he could to his own chest, and walked to their couch in the living room. Garcia was already sat on the couch with the basket and was retrieving hair care supplies for the younger of her two boys. She pulled out a small brush and handed it to Derek - who had set the anxious mess on the couch between the two of them - and he began brushing a bit of Reid’s hair while humming Reid’s favorite French lullabye. Garcia pulled out a few hair ties and set them in the doctor’s lap while grabbing her own brush for the other side of his messy hair. </p>
<p>“We’re here for you, babycakes,” Garcia whispered to Reid. “We want you to tell us when somethings wrong. We love you. Neither of us wants to see you suffer. It’s okay to need help, doll face.” </p>
<p>Spencer nodded and yawned. His tears had dried by now, but the voices still lingered. He was exhausted. There were too many days in the week devoted to saving people and being hyper-vigilant, and not enough dedicated to de-stressing and taking care of his emotions. It wasn’t to say that he didn’t enjoy his job, he loved it. It was just a bit too emotionally draining to be handling constantly at times. Garcia began humming along with Morgan while they brushed, and Reid felt his troubles slipping more and more from his mind. His head felt heavier than it had in a long time. His eyes kept threatening to shut, and it felt like there was little he could do to stop them at this point. </p>
<p>Penelope and Derek were almost on the same page at this point, with both of them at varying steps in their braids. Garcia had discovered a few months prior that braiding Reid’s hair calmed him down, so they made a special basket to use on him for when his anxieties rose to the surface so he would never have to deal with them alone again. The pair may have been losing precious sleep, but this was much more important. Their boy mattered so much more to them than a few hours of unconsciousness ever would. As Derek was finishing up his braid, Penelope reached for a hair tie for hers. They glanced at their work when they had both finished, and smiled at one another. The braids were very uneven as usual, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Reid was out cold. Derek shifted to pick the smaller man up, and Penelope reached around to clean up after the boys had left. She returned the basket to its home and went to join her boyfriends in bed for what would hopefully be the best sleep any of them got all week. Derek laid Spencer down in the center of the bed, where Penelope reached over to tuck him in. she tiptoed over to Derek as to not wake Reid, and Morgan pulled her close to give her a quick peck on the lips. </p>
<p>“I think our boy is gonna be okay babes. if not now, then soon enough,” Garcia whispered. </p>
<p>“He’ll get there soon enough. Let’s try to get some sleep.”</p>
<p>Garcia and Morgan climbed into bed on either side of Reid and scooted close to him for comfort. </p>
<p>“I love you guys, you know? you guys are my favorite. I love you,” the sleepy Reid babbled. </p>
<p>Derek smirked and glanced at Penelope, who smiled lazily and kissed Spencer on the cheek. </p>
<p>“We love you too, pretty boy.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Cold Hands</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Reid is at home waiting for his boyfriend, Derek Morgan, and his girlfriend, Penelope Garcia, to get home in the middle of the night during heavy rain in the cold.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tws:<br/>no tws applicable</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rain pounded on the windows of Derek’s car. Penelope was in the passenger’s seat shivering; she had forgotten her jacket at their apartment, and while Derek had given her the leather jacket he had been wearing all day, it wasn’t enough. Her legs were covered in goosebumps, and the car’s heating had gone out a week prior. Morgan reached over to rub her thigh with one hand while the other stayed on the wheel, hoping that some sort of friction would warm her up just long enough for them to get home. The goosebumps left momentarily but were back in an instant. Garcia smiled at her boyfriend and squeezed his arm. </p><p>“Are you sure you’ll be okay without your jacket, Derek? I feel bad taking it from you when it’s so cold out, and I forgot mine.”</p><p>“Nonsense, baby girl, I gave it to you. I’m a grown man, I can handle a little rain ain’t gonna bother me.”</p><p>While the pair sped down the soaked streets of Quantico, their boyfriend, Spencer Reid, was at home buzzing around the kitchen, cleaning every surface he could see. He had managed to get home just before the rain started, but because Garcia and Morgan had decided to stay behind at the BAU, they got caught directly in it. Spencer couldn’t think straight; there was so much running around his mind, and the only thing he could do to dull the thoughts that swarmed him was clean everything in sight. His phone had been ringing on and off for the past ten minutes. Reid knew it was Morgan’s cell based on the tone Garcia had set up for him alone, but he let it ring. He stood in front of the sink wearing a plain t-shirt and sweatpants while scrubbing what few dishes were left from the week under the near steaming hot water. Spencer hummed along to the commercials that played on the television across the room. He didn’t really care about what played, he just hated being in the apartment alone in silence. It needed to be loud enough that he couldn’t think, and it needed to go on just long enough for his two lovers to be able to arrive home.</p><p>Penelope was doing everything in her power to keep her teeth from chattering. The rain kept coming down harder and faster on the two of them, and it kept getting colder. Some of the streets had started flooding at this point, and it didn’t look like the rain would be letting up soon. Her phone was completely dead in her pocket, so she had been trying desperately to contact the younger of her two boyfriends through Derek’s phone to make sure he was okay since they hadn’t heard from him in a little while and was getting worried. He had been unusually withdrawn at work today and chose to take the bus home rather than ride home with his partners. After a few more unanswered calls, she decided to leave it, and just hope he was at home asleep and hadn’t heard his phone going off. She sighed and bounced her head off of the headrest attached to her seat.</p><p>“Still, no answer?”</p><p>“Not a single word from Reid. I hope everything is okay with him.”</p><p>“We’ll see, Doll Face. We’re practically there.”</p><p>With that, Morgan sped up to reach their street faster. The pair were growing more anxious as the minutes passed. Reid stood in their bedroom, wrapped in a thick, fluffy, warm blanket waiting for his partners to come home. They would have been back twenty minutes ago had the rain not slowed them down. He was apprehensive, terrified that they weren’t coming home. Spencer knew his fears shouldn’t be on his mind, considering how many times he had ignored Derek’s number today, whether they be intentional or not. Their home was clean, and while it shouldn’t have been the young doctor’s primary concern, it did make him feel a little better knowing that there was nothing he needed to be doing for now. </p><p>Penelope and Derek pulled into their parking space in the building’s underground garage, quickly kissed, and began making their way up to their fifth-floor apartment. The building’s elevator wasn’t in service anymore, but it didn’t matter. It would have been too cold to use today, anyway. It seemed like almost nothing was working anymore. Penelope and Derek trudged up the stairs exhausted and frozen, ready to just go straight to bed. Reid had moved to the bathroom to brush his teeth and hair when Garcia and Morgan entered. He slowly brushed his teeth in small circles with his eyes closed when Garcia snuck up behind him and snaked her cold hands under his shirt and around his waist. Spencer’s eyes snapped open as he spit toothpaste all over the mirror. </p><p>“What the hell, why are your hands so cold? What’s going on? Get your freezing hands off of me!”</p><p>“That was for ignoring my many many calls,” Penelope cooed, “and this,” she said, ripping the blanket off of him and throwing it towards Derek, “is just for being warmer than me.”</p><p>“Derek, help me, she’s torturing me in here!”</p><p>“Unfortunately, Pretty Boy, I’m on Garcia’s side today. Make room, Mamas!”</p><p>“With pleasure!”</p><p>The two snaked their hands around Spencer’s torso tickling his sides and warming their hands on his back and stomach as he protested. They laughed as they did it, and eventually when the cold feeling subsided, Spencer was able to laugh right there with them. The three of them stood close in their small bathroom, touching with every breath and giggle shared. Derek looked around as the trio began to calm down.</p><p>“This bathroom seems like it’s shrinking every single day, huh?”</p><p>“It sure seems like it. We really need a larger one if all three of us are going to continue sharing it alongside any guests.”</p><p>“My boys are so smart,” Garcia remarked. “We absolutely need a bigger bathroom. And Reid, you should feel so lucky that my hands aren’t cold anymore. I could have gone at this another fifteen minutes if I really needed to.</p><p>Spencer let out a small laugh at Penelope’s comment and grabbed a rag to begin cleaning his spit from the mirror. Morgan kissed him on the cheek and left their minuscule bathroom with Garcia right behind him. The two changed into their pajamas and flopped down onto their bed while Reid took his time cleaning the mirror off. He threw the now dirty cloth into their clothes bin, brushed his hair, and placed his hands on the sink’s edge to examine himself. His stubble was beginning to come in, and his face was still red from laughing, but what he was most interested in was his eyes. His pupils were still dilated, and it made him smile. Whether he be consciously or subconsciously thinking it, he knew he loved his partners. He turned off the bathroom light, picked up his blanket, and went to join his lovers in bed who were already fast asleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hello!</p><p>apologies if the way this was written sounded like it was headed into smut territory when i had no intentions of writing that. i know the chapter title is technically part of my name, but i'm really just an idiot who forgets their username when making titles. i could change it, but i like the title regardless of how you may associate it with my url. requests continue to be open :)</p><p>-koffi</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is my first work. Feel free to request anything, I'll see what I can do to accommodate. :)</p>
<p>-koffi</p></blockquote></div></div>
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